Mindful Monday’s

Transcript

Michelle

Hello, and welcome to Mindful Monday's. My name is Michelle Precourt, and it is a real pleasure to be here with you today. Before we get started, there's just a couple of points that I would like to start with and that is first recognizing where I'm calling in from, I'd like to take a moment to note that I'm calling in from the territory of the Sḵwx̱wú7mesh people. I am very blessed, very grateful for their stewardship of this land. And as well, for anyone who isn't familiar with where that might be in its colonial terms., it Squamish, British Columbia, I invite all of your viewers who are joining us today to share in the chat, please tell us where you're calling in from. We've had folks from coast to coast to coast, in fact, and across countries as well. So please do share in the chat, where you're calling in from and say hello. And of course, we're here to serve you to share our knowledge. If you have any questions, please share those in the chat as well. Before we tell you about today's guest who I know you're going to really love what he has to say, for anyone who's new, what is Mindful Monday's?  The idea behind this is just sharing of knowledge. There's a lot of workplace challenges out there these days. The idea is to talk about some of those challenges like career related stress, like wellness, we're going to be diving into that today for sure. And other topics we've we've spoken about, conflict in the workplace. And you know, there's just a lot, so if you have a topic that you'd like to hear from, also connect with me, you can do that on LinkedIn here, of course, but also share in the chat. Love to hear from you. So with that, let's talk about today's broadcast. I'd like to introduce all of you to Dr. Ken Keis. He's the president of Consulting Resource Group, otherwise known as CRG Leader. He is an expert on leadership, on purpose, on wellness. And he's written a number of books. I've got one here with me today, in fact. Why Aren't You More Like Me? He has also written the Quest for Purpose and Deliberate Leadership, and his experience spans the world. And yet, he's joining us here today on Mindful Monday. So thanks so much, so much for joining us today, Ken, and welcome.

Ken

Well, it's an honor to serve and honor great people like yourself, Michelle.

Michelle

Thank you. Thank you. So before we get into things here, I do want to check in with our viewers. So let's see what's happening in the chat. So please do say hello. And we'd love to hear from you this morning. Okay, so today, we're here to talk about wellness, workplace wellness, in fact. And, you know, I'd like to take a step back, Ken. It's this idea of, at least here's what I think about it, is the pendulum has swung. So at one point, the employer and the employee relationship was really quite simple. So the employer said, Hey, I've got a job for you to do, we want you to do XYZ, and I will pay you for XYZ. And it was as simple as that. But today, the world of work has really shifted and the current demographics in the workforce, these are the children of the millennials. Yes, I know, that's hard to believe, but the children of the millennials, they want a whole lot more, the expectations are a whole lot higher. And I'm not at all saying that that's wrong. I say, Hey, if you can get it, go for it, and and use your voice in a meaningful way to ask for what is importance. And so what we're seeing here is that of course, employers are having a hard time retaining talent because of all these needs, and in terms of staying competitive, workplace wellness is one of those things that we're seeing more and more on. So I'm curious to hear from you, Ken, what are you seeing from the leaders that you're working with?

Ken

Well, I think obviously, the acknowledgement of wellness being an important piece is number one, as you've mentioned, people are talking about mental health and mental wellness. And in a lot of cases, there's a misunderstanding, We'll get into it in this next 20, 25 minutes about it that misunderstand, what does that really mean? And I think the other one that's a shift, not just employers is that our encouragement is that in each individual needs to take responsibility for their wellness levels. I can't be well, on your behalf Michelle, and vice versa, I have to own my own space. So I think there's that other side is that getting other people to do it for you, but also doing the shift is to do with each other and this acknowledgement that there is this need, but also this desire, but also this quest to be able to be healthy? And for the most part, we're not.

Michelle

Hmm, you know, that makes me think of something that in fact, just happened today Ken. I was sitting having my coffee, and my phone ran., It was about 730 this morning, and it was an employee. So I do HR consulting, I know some of our viewers, and you know, this Ken and so I'm doing some work with an organization in the city. An employee called me this morning, and you know, I didn't know who it was, so I answered the call quite hesitantly at 730 in the morning. Sure enough, it was an employee. I knew that he was off work because his mother had passed away. So he's not, in terms of checking in with yourself, he's dealing with some grief right now. He had called me because being in HR, you know, he wanted some advice around around what his entitlements were. So the specific words I used with him was from a technical perspective, here's what I can tell you. But from a personal perspective, you know, talk to your manager about that. I recognize that there's a level of vulnerability when you have to share how you are feeling or what you're struggling with. But when it comes to something big, and this was his mother that passed away, this is big, the employer 100% will be compassionate. I think all employers need to be compassionate about situations like this, and whether they are or aren't, you know, I hope that they are there, yes, the job still needs to get done. Yes, there are deliverables and if your front, forward facing it, it becomes a challenge. But that's not something that should be on the burden of someone who's unwell. But that is a really good example of, you know, taking care of yourself so that you can be of service in the best way possible. And so that was my advice for this individual today was check in with your manager once the office opens, and it's up to you how much you want to share, 100%. And, you know, maybe it's this, can you take it a day at a time? And and then what I also said to him was, what's going to be helpful for you? Is client facing work going to be helpful for you? Or would you rather deal with administration? You know, it's just this type of sort of brainstorming ideas to give that individual in this particular case. What might be helpful, that's just one example. I know that there are there are plenty of others. I want to say hello to some of the folks in the chat. So hello, Lydia. Lydia is from Ottawa. Nice to see you here today. Simone from Edmonton, thanks for joining us. We also have Elizabeth you are a regular, always here for every Mindful Mondays. Thank you so much. And Dawn, so nice to see you. Thank you for joining us. If any of you have specific examples that you'd like to share of strategies that has worked for you, whether it was you personally, or the whether it was something that you saw a leader do in terms of positive leader role modeling, please do share that in the chat. You know, Ken and I are here to have this discussion and help facilitate the discussion. But I'm guessing Ken, you don't have all the answers.

Ken

And I have absolutely every answer. By the way, sense of humor is one of the ways to reduce stress. Just a notation of that.

Michelle

Yeah, absolutely. You know, the other thing I'm before moving on from this particular question is this idea of self awareness, so only you knows what is best for you. And this is where the work that I do around mindfulness comes in,  is taking a step back being mindful of what it is that you need at this very moment. And, you know, before we came live here, can you ask me about the weekend. Like what can you do from a self care perspective, I like to go hiking, I 100% like to connect with nature. I like my physical feet on the ground. That's what helps me to ground. But it's so different. So different for everybody.

Ken

Exactly, exactly. Well, I think one of the things that you mentioned from your story in your example, is, first of all, if we're not open about our condition, then we really can't seek help be part of the challenge of being secretive or guarded. Yes, I understand that some cultures are not as open, I think that's part of the shift is that we need to be open about the situation, what's going on what's happening, seek the help and reach out. So the person felt comfortable enough to reach out and call you, which in itself is an important indicator that I am seeking some assistance. The other thing I really caution about is, and this is my one of my favorite sayings, and every podcast I do is everybody has an opinion, very few people have wisdom. And so be careful and cautious about who you seek out for advice for direction. I mean, and I'm not trying to be judgmental here. But as parents of children, we didn't go to people who didn't have children to ask them about how to, you know, manage children. I'm not saying that people who don't have children can't be good advisors. But at the same time, I want to look to does this person really have a track record that they can give me sound advice, and you have to be really careful about that. The other one that I encourage people is that you have way more impact in decision making in responsibility, that to make a difference personally than many people think. So as soon as we move into the victim mentality, then we have actually dis-empowered ourselves. So that's if we actually look at the research from a stress point of view. Now there's situational conditions, such as you talked about the environment, what's occurred, lost the loved one, okay, that is, what that is, I can't change that. But most of our stress is lifestyle related. I mean, that even the research is suggesting is as high as 95%. So when people says, well, this is my genetics, this is my predisposition. The reality is most of that is not true. And so if it's lifestyle related, then I have influence over the direction that I could go. So first of all, it's the openness is there. Now, way back when, in the 80s, I was a sales rep. So I went from doing sales into sales training. And just so that people are listening, I also have a diploma in nutrition, genetics and author of a wellness assessment you'll mention here shortly, but I was engaged to a lady in Brisbane, Australia, and I was the top sales rep in the company. And she phoned me on February 14. Now what date is that Michelle?

Michelle

Hmmm…well…

Ken

February 14. They said, listen, from Brisbane, Australia. I have found somebody else our engagement is off. So I actually I was traumatized by that I lost is a great weight loss program lost 15 pounds in 15 years, just because of that stress level. Now, this is where from a leadership point of view. We want to be conscious. My sales suffered, because I was emotionally sort of disconnected, not dissimilar to the example that you just had this morning with your client. And so did the sales manager have to send me to a sales training program to increase my sales? No, it had nothing to do with that. It's in our model, which had been through our training,  around willingness, is that there were other factors that contributing to my engagement. So he just needed to be patient with me bring around support to be able to get me to the other side. And I think that's where the direction is, rather than being punitive to the fact that you're not performing like you were, how can we help you recover? How can we get you into that next state? The other thing that we were talking about earlier, as a personal story that's so important, I think that you have to take personal responsibility for your condition. And I know there's all kinds of environmental factors, we've all had background, I've had traumatic background as well, but I can't use that as an excuse for my current condition. So not too different of time frame. But in the 80s, I was misdiagnosed as manic depressive, and put on an antidepressant called lithium. And it was not too long into taking the medicine probably or the pharmaceuticals probably a week or something, I was ready to kill somebody because my body really didn't need it. A friend of mine, because I belong to the National Speakers Association said Ken you're not depressed, there's something else that's going on. In my insistence I went to and told my doctor, I didn't ask, I told him I need to take a glucose tolerance test and discovered that I was hypoglycemic. So, the hypoglycemia was contributing to the manic depressive condition, I wasn't manic depressive, per se, it was the lifestyle that was contributing were the sugar or the condition. So there's some recent research for the for those of you that are watching and it's a sidebar, as we get, you have some questions there, is that my encouragement is, is that our diet, in what we take into our system, you know, as a hypoglycemic I did the research and as a nutritionist as well, is that in the 1800s, on average, we consumed about two to five to six pounds, or two to three kilos of processed sugar per year, we're now around 150 pounds, or over 50, 60 kilos of processed sugar, and all things corn syrup, all that kind of stuff. There's all kinds of links to our emotional state because of that, because of what it does to our mitochondria. So when we think about wellness, in mindfulness, all of that support, and that self awareness also comes into that too, is what am I really putting into my system, a lot of these, I'll call it sources of messing with our system are hidden, you know, is inserted into processed meats, or whatever it is right, then as an agriculturalist, that's important. So I just mentioned that as a sidebar, for our conversation today, that there is a lot that we can do. And then we can take responsibility. And as your client did today, they reached out, you know, don't try to do this on your own and carry the burden on your own reach out to somebody that's going to support you, but also somebody you can trust in terms of their advice.

Michelle

Yeah, thanks for sharing that can because there's a couple things that came up for me when you were speaking. One is exactly what you said, you were taking personal responsibility and going, you know, I don't know that this is quite right. And what I've learned in my experience is that while doctors are highly trained, they are also human beings, they also make mistakes. So take it with, you know, do your research, what you're also talking about is is mindfulness is being mindfully aware of what's going on for you. And so well done for that as we age, we become more aware of what we need. And so I suspect that back then you were also quite aware of, of your needs as well. And I think what you did here was, in a way, answer this question, I'm going to bring it up on screen, from Elizabeth here around, oops, sorry, wrong one here, hang on this is this is from Deepika. So I just want to do a shout out to the Deepika here, because she is working for Mindful HR Services as our HR intern. So thank you for sharing a few links in the chat today. But this is actually what I wanted to show you here. A question from Elizabeth, in terms of what are good wellness strategies easy to implement? Ken any insights to share here?

Ken

Well, of course, we could go for quite a while on that. And first of all, I will, at the peril of self promotion, is that you are licensed to use our stress indicator and health planner. And so part so, first strategy is is that wellness has multiple components. So thinking that it's any single item, I think you want to be broad in what are the contributing factors to my condition. So we outline that I mean, our assessments, one of the longer ones that we have as far as the stress indicator l planner with 120 questions, but each one of these areas that we talk about, contributed to my stress load or stress level. And we are all aware that cortisol is a negative element that can come a chemical can come into our system and produced by ourselves based on the stress. So the number one, one is don't get stressed over your stress. Is that start paying attention. Okay, now I need to look at what are the factors or what are the conditions that are contributing to me. So we have the first part of our assessments around distress, you know, so stress leaves clues. Behaviorally, psychologically, physically, right? Do I always have headaches, I can't sleep all these kinds of things that could that go into it, but the next four are actually pretty straightforward. And we had a client that had 6000, 7000, 8000 employees, and they use this assessment every year with all the team members for 25 years. And one of the reasons they use this low hanging fruit. So let me just quickly to answer that question go into these other categories so that people get a sense of, first of all, what are the interpersonal dynamics that are going on that are contributing to your stress levels? So relationships? Do I have tension with family members or work colleagues or whatever? So that could be like, one item on a scale of 10?  And then we talk about nutrition and lifestyle. And of course, as a nutritionist, I just kind of get into that area. What am I doing? Am I eating? What am I eating, but also lifestyle? You talked about being outdoors. There's research by Dr. Arman said that by walking, walking has more positive impact on people are feeling down lethargic, or even depressed, that any medication long term because of the endorphins. So when you look at what's your lifestyle, are you sitting a lot, which I do now, a lot as part of the work environment on the computer? Well, then sitting is the new smoking, according to some of the research so you can look at what am I consuming? And so if I was to see simply say, this raw real food, not processed food, no sugars, processed sugars, and and you're, you're free to go just make it no more complicated than that lifestyle. Also, there's some new research around, you're talking about mindfulness. But there was a longitudinal study done, it was over 50 years. So one of the number one factors that contributed to longevity, generosity, so that was a lifestyle where if you're feeling really, really down, if you're go and give somewhere, there's always somebody else's further down than you. So you know, the biblical saying says better to give than receive this actually biologically beneficial when you give and when you help, and you assist.

The next one we talk about is time. So everybody talks about time management, well, there's no such thing as time management, there's only priority management. So you've done some work with our values assessment and trying to prioritize that. So one of the simple things is, you know, how do I actually manage what I'm putting into my life? And do I actually build in margins for the things that you and your husband were doing this weekend about hiking, and my wife and I were doing that yesterday, as well, you know, prior to get on this show, is to really combine two things, fitness, but also getting into nature, I love outdoors, but also then the relationship at the same time where we're connected. And then the final part is around work.

So you were showing my book, Why aren't you more like me? 80% of the workforce is not engaged. So if I'm in a role responsibility that's not a fit for my personal style, other people call personality, then that's going to cause stress, if I'm in an environment that's not supportive. So in other words, if your client all of a sudden says, hey, somebody passed away in your family go to work, forget it, I'm not going to talk to you. So that's that, and is the career path that you're in, because that's where we met Michelle is through the career space, is I don't really believe as much in the theory of careers as much as expertise and a calling and an assignment and purpose. So am I in the right spot, doing the right thing, you know, playing to my interests, gifts, talents, and abilities that enrich me and energize me. So all of these factors, in little tidbits, so I might be a little bit interpersonal over here, and I'm eating quite right there and not walking, not being active. I'm stressing myself by being over committed. And then all of a sudden, I'm in a work environment, that's really not a place that you nurturing to me, well, then all of a sudden, I got the stress load, but it's not any single factor was creating the stress load, it's all of them combined. So I think the more you can break it down, and just look at the little pieces. And don't get stressed over being stressed, just back away, be mindful, go in this quiet place, and just start paying attention to what are the contributors to the stress load. And then sometimes people don't know what they don't know. You know, that's why we created the assessment than the online course and while they go to you for coaching or HR services, is that we can bring a perspective of these things are contributing to your condition, and for somebody who has gone through it in been there and done that and had those those challenges and still, you know, constantly there's so you know, driving by that fast food place and getting that quick ice cream. I mean, I do and in the summer I say don't do it, but so we it's just managing that and can you actually bring other people beside you to bring the discipline. Says Michelle, we're going hiking, we're going to go to the gondola. We're good.

Michelle

Thank you for that, Ken. I'm just going to pop up on screen here, what Ken was talking about was the stress indicator and health planner, really a fantastic tool. And what I always say about these tools is that it is a tool. It's it's not everything, right? It's, it's a really nice complement to likely the knowledge you already have, in conjunction with whatever medical support you are receiving. This is not a substitute for seeking out any medical advice. Not at all, but it can provide a bit of a baseline. And when I did it, I did this about two years ago, I first moved to BC just before the pandemic hit. And really like probably two weeks before we went into shutdown, Ken, I was in your office in Abbotsford and I had completed this assessment. And what I'll say about it is that no, no disrespect, it wasn't mind blowing right. We know these things, we know these things. But what it said to me was, here's a reminder, Michelle of where you need to tighten up. Sugar 100% is one of those things, I know that I've got a sweet tooth. And there are healthier ways of of managing my food intake for sure. The other thing that as a bit of a sidebar in terms of managing wellness is this month, my husband and I's have committed to not drinking at all this month. And it's actually easier than I thought it was going to be. It's all about habits, again, this comes back to mindfulness is what is it that you do after work? Well, you know, I'm going to put out some olives and some nice cheese and pour a glass of wine and while there's some research to support that, you know, a nice glass of red wine from time to time is good for you, we also know that alcohol is a carcinogenic. So, you know, you gotta you have to still enjoy life. And so having that ice cream cone that you talked about Ken is not necessarily a bad thing. If it's every day, it's likely not going to be good for you. So Elizabeth, I noticed you asked this question about some good, some easy to implement strategies for sure. Food intake, nutrition is one.

Also, just when I think about organizations, we're going to talk a little bit about culture here before we wrap up. But ask the question, right? And you said this not that long ago, Ken, how can I help? Right? What what do you need right now? And so this is where the stress and health indicator that you were just talking about Ken. It's a survey, right. There's data. You can't manage, what you don't measure. And so you don't recognize maybe how much alcohol you're drinking or how you're not moving very much right? This is where some of the apps, the digital watches, all of these tools that help us see our movement go, oh, you know what, I had a really good walking day today or yikes, that was a bad day, I'm going to do better tomorrow. When you know better, you do better. I think that we talked this whole time Ken, really talking about one particular question, but I would like to close with psychological safety. We've talked a lot about nutrition and while I brought up alcohol as well but what about psychological safety? I think we should talk a little bit about that. I think that might be a nice way to close. I recently took some training with the Canadian Mental Health Association. We were given case studies to explore we had to develop a psychological safety implementation plan. So this is foundational type work. What it's not getting to is the meat of what you are looking forward today. Here, Elizabeth, easy to implement tools. But I do think having this awareness of psychological safety is really important. And actually it's not really important, it's a must have. This fits in really nicely with our topic today about workplace wellness if you don't feel safe, if you don't have trust in the organization, if you don't have trust in your leaders, you're not going to get very far. So, Ken, any thoughts on this before we wrap up today?

Ken

Well, I'm going to recommend Dr. David's Burns's book Feeling Good, which we reference in training, and it's interesting psychological safety. There's a certain amount of perception on this but Dr. David Burns, his quote is this, is that nobody has irritated or offended me unless I let them. And so when you talk about mindfulness, I'm not saying what they did is okay, I'm not saying what the environment is supportive, but how we respond to what is going to be a significant impact on the trigger. So in other words, we all have had road rage probably sometime or another, but I have to be, I have to take 100% responsibility for how I responded to that. You know, I'm not saying that that person's driving was okay that they cut me off but how I responded to them is in my camp. So every bit of irritation and offensiveness is actually personally generated. And Dr. David Burns talks about that in Feeling Good. He uses this whole process around people are feeling depressed or Anger Management, remember the movie, right? I think, it was DeNiro whoever was in it. So when we think of a psychological safety, part of this safety is creating our own safety net around us on how we respond, just be aware of what are the things that are triggering? And then from there, there are some people that really don't know, you know, that when you think about self awareness, that's the number one space. Many leaders and colleagues they don't know, that they don’t know, that they don't know. In the book Insights, what percentage of people believe that they are aware? In spite of you saying, I knew a lot of these things in the stress indicator and health planner. Here is our experience, majority of people don't. 95% of people know themselves, only 10% of people are in-congruent. Do you really know what is going on?

Michelle

We do have to wrap up here Ken, I will close with a bit of an HR perspective on this. So first of all, I think that while leaders who may be listening may not appreciate this but it's really about one on one, to your point Ken, everyone receives information different so having those one on one check in meetings with your staff is going to be really important. And then the other piece from an from an HR point of view is if you are aware that some thing is going sideways in your organization and you do nothing about it, let's say there's bullying and harassment or some sort of discriminatory practice, you can be held liable. Corporate liability is a real thing. So being sure that you, you have sound HR practices and policies in place that align with provincial or federal legislation is key to ensuring you have a culture that's going to be sustainable. And really, this is this is my goal with Mindful Monday's and with my company, Mindful HR Services to create sustainable organizations. So we'll close with that today. We can thank you so much for sharing your wisdom today. I really appreciate you taking the time for this conversation.

Ken

Well, you're welcome, Michelle, you know, anytime.

Michelle

Thank you Ken. I also want to give a thank you to our viewers again. It is a big topic here. I want to share this on screen here. Yes, Elizabeth., it's a big topic. So if you have more questions, please reach out to Ken, you can find him here on LinkedIn. Of course, you know where to find me as well. Deepika, thank you for sharing all of those links. Deepika is looking for full time employment in HR. She'll be with me until mid December. And then after that to fly off and explore more of her career in HR. So please reach out to her if you have any leads. Thank you, John, for showing up today. Ledianis, Simone. And thank you all to all of you, and anyone that I may have missed that I'm not seeing here online. Thank you for showing up.

Before we close, I want to tell you about the next Mindful Monday. As many of you know we typically meet on the third Monday of the month, however, December is different. From a wellness perspective. I'm going to be taking some time off. My husband and I are actually going to Costa Rica for a few weeks. And so I'm going to put my feet in the sand. Yeah, enjoy the sun. And because of that our next Mindful Monday is on December the fifth, that's the first Monday of the month. We're also going to be talking about a big topic vulnerability in the workplace. We're going to be discussing real work examples, real workplace examples of how this key leadership skill creates trust, really big and my guest is coming all the way from the UK. His name was Mark Hammond. He runs an organization called Connectivity Consulting. I hope you will join us on December the fifth. Thank you again. Again, Ken, for your time today. And to our viewers.

Thank you again for supporting Mindful Monday's and until next time, be well